Friends to Married in Four Years

My marriage is part of my testimony to how awesome the Lord is and how His plans are always greater than ours.  Things in His will are going to happen.

I have always been fearful of needles and sharp objects.  When I was about 8 or 9 years old, I heard someone say that before getting married, one must have a blood test performed.  It was then that I told myself (and a few others) that I did not want to get married.  I had no use for girls or relationships.  I was just going to spend my time as a boy following sports and not chasing girls.  At one point I realized that I was somewhat interested in girls deep down, but on the surface, I never pursued any relationships.  I could not come to grips with the fact that I probably was somewhat attracted to some of the girls I knew.  I essentially played hard to get through school, never so much as even attending a 1:00-3:00 dance in the school gymnasium, not to mention (gasp) dancing or dating.

By the time I reached high school, I started to pinpoint one or two girls that I did have a lot in common with; they were Christians, appreciated sports, and were generally fun to be around.  However, both prospects were “taken” at the time.  I began to admit in prayers that I guessed I could get married if I ever met the perfect one.  I prayed that the Lord would lead me in the right direction.  If it was meant to be, it would happen.

By the time I reached college, I had still never been on a date, let alone been involved in an all-out relationship.  I definitely began to take greater notice of the females and also became aware that so many of the girls out there had one flaw or another.  I know that Romans 3:23 says that all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God, but I wanted my future wife to be “perfect”; just right.  She had to be a Christian.  She had to share many of the same interests as me and have similar moral values.  It was as if I had a list of prospects that could be crossed off if I knew they weren’t a Christian, hated sports, smoked, drank, used profanity, etc.  The list of “prospects” was very short.  However, through the peace of the Holy Spirit, I never worried.  I always thought I’d be content to live alone, watch sports, and be happy.  If that perfect woman was out there, then I knew I would be led to her.

In January of my freshman year of college, I was introduced to America Online’s Instant Messenger by a friend.  The woman I would marry was introduced to IM while house-sitting for a friend around the same time.  She found me using the AIM Wizard’s “Find a Buddy” tool, searching under Christianity.  From the first time she spoke to me, I knew that this girl was different.  I knew she was automatically at the top of my “prospects” list.  We talked online for more than seven months before meeting in person.  I realized that this woman could be the perfect one that was created for me.  I had never met someone with whom I had so much in common.  We wound up getting together for dinner seven or eight times before officially becoming a couple—appropriately, by email—when she replied to a message I sent the night before.

We had discussed engagement and marriage for months in advance. Nearly a year before the engagement, she sent me a zales.com hint in my email about a diamond she liked. Months later, she also pointed out a pair of shoes she liked. I decided that I wanted to make the proposal as much of a surprise as possible, therefore ruling out popular engagement occasions such as Christmas or Valentine’s Day. Besides, that would be a way of weaseling out of buying one more gift if the diamond was to serve as the engagement present and her Christmas present for example. I decided on Thanksgiving Day. Using a borrowed idea, I laced up the same diamond that she had hinted at into the front of one of a pair of shoes that I knew she liked. Then, in an attempt at a joke, I put an empty Zales box inside the other shoe and wrapped that one in Zales tissue paper. Naturally, she opened that shoe first and felt disappointed. I then urged her to go ahead and open the whole gift, try them on maybe. Eventually, she did notice the shiny attachment to the other shoe, and she said yes.

Over the previous couple of years, distance had separated us since we attended different colleges, but now we began to draw closer together, physically and emotionally.  After we made arrangements to buy the house we would live in after we were married, only 13 miles separated us rather than 114 the year before.  It was awesome to see the Lord work in making us patient while waiting for each other, not only week to week when we could visit, but in both of our lives.  Neither of us had ever been in relationships.  Both of us had each other as our first date, first kiss, first relationship, and today we’re married and extremely happy.

We literally waited years and years for each other, emotionally and physically.  By the time our wedding rolled around, we were waiting with great anticipation for not only starting our lives together, getting away for a week, and coming home to live together for the first time, but also obviously the bedroom encounters that would follow.  We knew that it would take us a while to become “pros” at pleasuring each other.  I do not remember many specific details about our first night, or for that matter our first week together, but know that it was definitely the start of a marriage that I may not have expected when I was a little kid.

Today my life would be so different if I had never met my wife.  We still have far from what many would call a perfect sex life, but it is awesome.  Nearly every time we are together, it is a great feeling to know that each of us is the only one to have ever “known” the other.  I cannot describe how awesome it is to know that every day I am with the woman the Lord provided for me.  I am so glad I made the decision to open my eyes to what He provided.