Marriage Still Heated after 63 Years

My wonderful wife and I have been married for nearly 63 years.  We were both committed, active Christians and, of course, virgins when we married.  Pre-marital counseling was not done then.  My pastor-father gave us a helpful book on our wedding day.  But that was a bit late for some of its information.  Who wants to read a book between wedding and honeymoon?

We were looking forward to a rewarding wedding night.  We really liked the idea that we now belonged to each other and experimented with pleasing each other even though we had not yet caught on from the “Song of Solomon” that the wife may be as much an initiator as the husband!  Taking our time was, I’m sure, a key to enjoying orgasms even though when I sought to enter I could not go far without causing pain.  Not wanting to hurt her, I backed off.  Even with some effort, the hymen didn’t give way since I did not want to cause pain.  Each time it was much the same.

One night, after about five weeks of marriage, we were given a big surprise, — a real serendipity!  After playing a while I simply entered, — all the way.  No problem, no pain, no bleeding, just a wonderful feeling of being where we each belonged.  And, the joy of being one with the intense pleasure of it all!  Afterward we were left with a question:  Since there was no breakthrough the time before and no hindrance this time, what happened to change things?  We wondered whether our Father in heaven saw the predicament of a strong hymen, that He was pleased that we were sensitive to each other and I refused to hurt in order to satisfy my desire, so He intervened.  Could that be?  We rationalized that perhaps the many unsuccessful efforts did some stretching, but that didn’t explain why in one effort there was no success and in the next, there was no barrier.

Our many years have been wonderful, but not without a glitch.  Nearly forty years ago my wife of (then) twenty-three years and mother of five had a stroke.  It left her with a speech handicap and some loss of feeling.  Four years later, together with a change in my employment and location, and with the greater difficulty in communication and my busyness, romance began to diminish.

Before long we both sensed it and quite independently determined to do something about it.  On my part, I determined to say something complimentary to her every day.  After a while it was a challenge to think of something new.  But with nuances and differing ways of saying the same thing, it became a fixed habit as well as fun.  After thirty plus years of this, sometimes I wonder if she doesn’t get a bit tired of my continual praises, but considering the alternative, it is fine.  It worked and continues to work so well!

As for the loss of feeling, we discovered that a vibrator is helpful for the first orgasm while not usually needed for her second one.

We are so glad that God has been with us and that my service as a pastor for many years has been so enriched by a wonderful companion and love-filled marriage.

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4 replies
  1. JazzdBoutH&N says:

    Whoever wrote this, wow! What a kind, loving man. Waiting five weeks to get is full satisfaction is a major feat on its own. I’m humbled by this posting.

  2. Older Lover says:

    Being somewhat older myself, I really appreciate your comments…. we have been married for 53 years and, like you, came into marriage blindly as to what to expect in the sex department. We were virgins also and active in our local church… never heard of "Sex Education" back then!

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