Marriage Sex -FML is a site based on sharing dismal slices of life. The other day I was reading through some of the mini blogs and spotted one whose comments made me a bit angry. A poster stated how they were newly married and had only had sex two times in the four months of their marriage. Many of the comments toward the poster were likened to “that’s why I never got married FYL, dude” or “Welcome to marriage. The end of sex as you know it.”
Marriage sex is a mystery to most people. It’s often viewed as something that becomes non-existent or boring over time. If you are one of those who think marriage sex is boring, I encourage you to read our stories in Marriage Heat as most are based on real stories from real marriages. But this negative connotation toward marriage is partly OUR FAULT. Talking about good sex in marriage has become a taboo.
Marriage Sex – Allow me to explain through this story:
I am in a Bible study group focused on marriage for women. We cover completely the emotional and spiritual connection between spouses, then glaze over the sexual connection. During the sex discussion hardly anyone says a word. They read only what’s written in our study pamphlet about marriage sex. After my share of the reading, I speak up. I mention how I am so excited for my husband and I’s marriage sex. How I can’t wait to get him in our bedroom after the baby is asleep. Gawking stares from my group all around make me uncomfortable. Did I just break a taboo? We’re all married women and—based on the study–shouldn’t we all be just as encouraging each other for this part as well as the emotional and spiritual connection?
This scenario is all too common in the marriage and Christian community. It’s as if the fact that I enjoy and regularly have sex with my spouse is somehow a taboo topic. But based on our Christian faith, marriage is the ONLY place you should be participating in sexuality. Oddly enough we seem to spend more time talking about those who are having one-night stands, live-ins, or are participating in homosexual behavior. What gives? Why the hush-hush when it comes to speaking about how wonderful sex in marriage is when there is nothing Biblically to be ashamed of?
Marriage Heat wants you to not be ashamed of speaking up and out about how hot your marriage is. The commitment, love, and connection in marriage bring a deeper meaning to the act. It’s not just biology doing its thing. If you let it, your sex life in marriage can be powerful, passionate, and oh-so-hot. We don’t want the “nay-sayers” on marriage, and those who are jaded by dismal marital situations to be the only ones talking about marriage sex. We need to shout out to those around us how much marriage can rock the headboards. We must break the taboo of talking about marriage sex. I highly recommend telling anyone who says something denoting about marriage sex to give them a link to this website. It’s completely free, anonymous, and it’s an honest site. Sharing honest stories. Song of Songs isn’t in the Bible without reason. God wants you to enjoy sex with your spouse as one of the most powerful and pleasurable connections human beings can have. Marriage doesn’t have to end sex as you know it. It can be just the beginning of sex as you know it.
So, my study group of ladies, yes. You can count on me making love to my husband tonight and many nights (and afternoons and mornings) of my life to come. I am so excited for the trust, commitment, and connection we have in this important area of what the covenant of marriage is.