Sexy Attitude – We go to a large church. A while ago, I talked to the head of the Divorce Care ministry which ministers to a large number of divorcees. I asked what would you say is the number one reason for divorce. Without flinching he said, “Affairs.” I asked what is the number one reason for affairs. With out flinching he said, “In 85 percent of the cases, sexual intimacy had died.” This made me really take notice.
I was worried. Was my marriage heading for an affair or divorce? My sex drive has always been low and my husband’s high. I knew that he was sexually frustrated, and it was affecting our relationship. I didn’t understand and honestly did not appreciate how much he needs sex and oneness with me and that not getting it affects everything he does. Were we heading for a divorce?
I had basically stopped thinking about sex in a positive light, I have never been abused or anything like that IT JUST WASN’T IMPORTANT TO ME AT ALL.
No Sexy Attitude! Things I did that made it worse.
1. If he would ask for sex during the day and I would sometimes give him hope, subtly, but hope nonetheless, and then I would stay up late or have a headache or any of the other excuses that I thought would work to get me out of it. He told me that was the worst! He would be excited all day thinking of the time we would spend together that night, and then have everything crushed.
2. I started taking naps after dinner so I could stay up late. He would try to stay up with me, but would get frustrated when I wouldn’t come to bed.
3. I got addicted to movies, any kind. We got Netflix and I got my money’s worth.
4. When he mentioned that he would just start masturbating, I told him that I thought it was wrong. During our discussions he did say that he had masturbated anyway, but it only sometimes gave him sexual release, and it never gave the emotional fulfillment he needed.
Ladies, I bet some of you are wondering if he ever got addicted to porn. My husband admitted he looked at porn and was very open about it. He said he hated that he was looking at it, but it was at the time the only outlet he had for some positive visualization. He has a few close friends that discussed porn. He brought it up and they all agreed that they hated it, but they had also looked because there was something wrong with their marriages.
My husband told me this and it really hit home. He said, “It was sad that I would surf for hours at a time, but never see what I wanted, because what I wanted was downstairs watching movies.” I could have helped him never bring porn into our marriage, if I would have been there as his wife. I had a pity party about this. And I had a “You are a pervert” reaction too. But I realized that If I wanted him to keep away from porn, an affair or a lukewarm marriage, we needed to make some changes.
I think that may be enough for you to get the idea of how I almost ruined our marriage. Saving my marriage was my new priority. So when I say it is SEXY ATTITUDE that needed to be changed for me, it really was. I GOT PLAYFULLY AND PRAYERFULLY ADDICTED TO MY HUSBAND AND MY MARRIAGE INSTEAD OF WORLDLY THINGS. I DECIDED TO GET OVER MY SEXUAL HANGUPS. I DECIDED TO STOP BEING JUDGMENTAL ABOUT WHAT MY HUSBAND DESIRED. I EVEN DECIDED TO WELCOME HIS SEXUAL IMAGINATION. I DECIDED TO NO LONGER THINK HE WAS PERVERTED FOR HIS THOUGHTS. INSTEAD I COMMITTED TO ENJOY HIS IMAGINATION AND STIMULATE MINE TO BE HOT AND SEXY. I ALSO DECIDED TO JUST HAVE FUN WITH HIS SUGGESTIONS FOR ME TO DRESS OR NOT DRESS IN A WAY THAT CAPTURED HIS IMAGINATION.
So, this is what we came up with. Our goal was to put the fun back in our sex life.
Our ground rules were simple, shun porn, no third parties, no backdoor intercourse, and have a great sexy attitude.
In last YEAR, we were having sex often and I was really enjoying it too. It is amazing what a sexy attitude will do.
Sexy Attitude – Lingerie and clothing
Even if you are overweight your husband will love seeing you in those boy shorts panties or thongs. He loves your body, big or small and so should you. He will go crazy over the see through, crotchless, or open bra items especially if you present yourself for him to inspect. You can easily make your own sexy wear with a pair of scissors and some imagination. Cut a tank top off so that the bottom half (just below your nipple) of your breast are exposed sometimes. Even your work clothes can be sexy if you remember it’s not necessarily the article of clothing that is important, but the sexy attitude underneath it.
I had hang ups in this area, but saving my marriage meant changing my dress. I would never let myself go in fear that someone might see me, forgetting that dress was an important tool in the arsenal of a married woman to make her guy crazy. Who cares if someone sees me and notices me? GOOD FOR THEM.
I also had a habit of calling attention to my “weak” features, THAT FAT OR STRETCH MARK. Now I am calling attention to my body in a sexual way. I do not have the greatest body, but I will tell you that featuring what you have in a sexy way will drive your husband wild. If I caress my tits in front of my husband and let myself get excited, I see an immediate hard on. Put your fingers down your pants and lick your fingers. My point. Husbands like a visual show. And you know what…it is fun! A sexy attitude makes you alive again in your marriage.
I am not in as good of shape as he is, I’m working on it, but I’m probably still 40 lbs overweight. I got most of it eating snacks late at night while watching movies, oops. Anyway, he has always enjoyed watching me get dressed, so now I will give him a show. Instead of getting dressed in my closet, I will come out and put my foot up on the bed and ask him to put moisturizer on my legs where I have shaved, and then make sure he has a clear view of my sex. I sometimes ask him to make sure I’m dry and get him to lick any remaining shower water from my mound. He also loves to see me bend over so that he can see my bum hole and my vaginal lips at the same time.
Sexy Attitude – Sex Toys
Many girls are reluctant to buy toys, I was, but this has worked very well for us. Go to your favorite on-line toy store and give each other a dollar budget or a quantity budget for each month. I have really come to enjoy them, especially the remote control ones you can wear under your clothes. Sometimes I secretly put them on and hand my husband the remote as we enter a restaurant, or sometimes he requests that I wear them, but either way we have a great time.
Agree to test drive what ever the other one buys for a month; he will love you for this. Buy some of the silly games too; it will help each of you loosen up. Use the toys when he is not there if he is comfortable with that.
Sexy Attitude -Masturbation
Let him watch you masturbate!! Guys are visual creatures, give him a free show, or make him pay, and he will. Guys love to watch their wives masturbate. Use some of your new toys, use your pillow or just your fingers. You will get hotter and hotter with the knowledge of how you are turning him on. Remember to caress your breasts too, this drives them nuts. If you can’t have sex for what ever reason for a while, tell him it’s ok to masturbate as long as he thinks of you and no other. Then give him something to think about. I let him take photos of me nude. I keep the disk in a locked box and give it to him when I have to go out of town for a few days. He has to promise not to copy them to his computer, and of course not share them with anyone.
More on Masturbation
Ask him if he minds if you masturbate when he is gone. Is it ok if you masturbate when he is sleeping next to you? My husband loves it. He loves to wake up to me masturbating. Then he just rams it into me and I love it. He is a happy man all day after that start.
Sexy Attitude – Sex Positions
Try them all, there are some that only gymnasts can do, and many I can’t orgasm at, but you will have fun playing. There are plenty of books or websites, just be careful not to get too caught up in the images, remember its sexy attitude.
Sexy Attitude – Oral Sex
This was a huge topic around our house. For many guys this is the quintessential sexual act. At first I didn’t really get it, there was the smell, the taste, and I didn’t want to taste myself on his kiss. But my husband explained to me how important it was to him, so I agreed to give it a try. After we did a little how-to research, I can say, WOW, I’m glad I tried it.
My first orgasm orally was my first multiple, and it was one I will never forget. I got a little worried, because I thought I was going to crush his head, but he just kept on going. Also, with him going down on me he has so many more tools in his arsenal; his tongue, his nose, and BOTH of his hands. Sometimes he uses a toy too. It has become my new favorite. I also love the way I feel after bringing my husband to an orgasm, too. I’m not trying to be all churchy here, but there is true joy in serving your spouse in this way.
I also decided not to worry about whether I was clean enough for him or he was clean enough for me. This helped me let go.
Sexy Attitude – Fantasies
I was way too embarrassed to share my fantasies at first, but as he opened up I realized that many of our fantasies were very similar. We agreed that our fantasies would only include each other, and we would keep to our ground rules. Needless to say many of our fantasies have come to life this year.
Sexy Attitude -Surprise Him
I found out that many of my husband’s fantasies were about being surprised by me doing simple things. I’m going to list a few of these because I suspect your husbands have similar ones.
1. After you have gotten out of the shower in the morning go up to him and ask him to service you orally. This is especially good if he is still in bed and you can straddle his chest.
2. Give him a wake up blow, having your man get hard while he is in your mouth is a real treat. After you are done tell him tomorrow is his turn, you better believe he will give it to you.
3. Combine 1 and 2 to give and receive oral at the same time.
4. Sometime during the day when he has to go urinate follow him into the bathroom and hold his penis for him. You may have to hold it down, because he will get hard. But hey, urine is sterile and it cleans up, plus it’s fun to give him a hard time about it later.
5. While he is watching one of his sports on TV walk around the house with little on and one of the toys in your hand. Then go up to him and straddle him and bring yourself to an orgasm with the toy.
Sexy Attitude – Give Him Your Quality Time
Turn off the TV and go to bed early, even if there are still things to be done, or favorite shows to watch. Get a DVR if TV is that important to you. Your relationship with your husband is way more important than clean dishes. If you can’t concentrate on a sexy attitude until things are done, make a sexy game out of whatever it is that needs to be done. For example, if there are dishes that need to be washed and dried, go change into a clean white tee shirt, and no bra. Tell your husband that if he will wash you will dry; proceed to dry with your shirt. You get clean dishes and he gets a great show.
Sexy Attitude -Shaving or Waxing
This is another one that I didn’t get at first. I of course trim my pubic hair for swimming and just neatness, but I never had been totally bald down there. After I realized he really wanted to see me that way, I gave it a shot. It’s hair and it will grow back. When I surprised him one morning with my new cut he went down on me right then and there. I was in ecstasy. Smooth is the way for me. It took me a little while to get used to it, and I think I’m going to get one of those electric shavers for the next year. On one of the first few days I wore some jeans that were too tight. I actually had an orgasm from the friction on my mound. As I told my husband about it I handed him the creamed covered panties, needless to say he was really turned on.
Sexy Attitude – Tie me up
This one began as my fantasy, but it soon was clear he had thought about it too. For us it is very simple, a couple of scarves to the headboard and sometimes footboard. I have enjoyed tying myself to the bed just before he arrives home from work. I usually leave him a note to get cleaned up in another bathroom and hurry to the bedroom.
Sexy Attitude – Sexy Stories
Of course we have enjoyed sexy stories from this site. Write your sexy attitude stories and share them with others at www.marriageheat.com Your imagination is very important, keep it fed with “Song of Solomon” thoughts.
Sexy Attitude – Books
There are some good and some bad books out there, if you need some help make sure to read all of the reviews, and then make a wise purchase. We bought one each on oral sex, and I’m glad we did.
Sexy Attitude – Seduce Him
This is an easy one; it is all in the sexy attitude. You can mix and match any of the things above and get your husband turned on in minutes.
Sexy Attitude -Romance
Your husband or at least my husband enjoys the softer things too, candles, baths, and soft music. We have a large tub that I set up for the evening and we will spend a long time just holding each other until we become prunes, or we will make love very slowly.
Sexy Attitude -Quickies
For a while all I would ever give him were quickies, because all I wanted was the orgasm, and I could go pretty quickly. This drove my husband crazy because he wanted to spend more time with me. Now quickies are great for both of us. He may be on our side of town during lunch or for some work reason and he will call. I will tell him that I just had an orgasm and am waiting for him. We sometimes talk sexy while he is driving to meet me.
Sexy Attitude – Desire him like he desires you
Before I always thought it was odd how much he would say he wanted to caress me or how much he longed to touch me. I never had that desire, but now I can’t wait to see his toned chest or cup his butt in my hands. He loves that I want him, and I love it too.
We have started trying to get away more often. We will either close the curtains and turn off the phones for a weekend, or actually go to another town. In the summer we rented a cabin in the woods that had a stream right by it. It was very secluded and we went naked some of the time we were there. We made sure there were no cabins or people around because we are pretty shy. Once we agreed that no one would ever see us we went skinny dipping and made love on our towels. There were some large flat rocks that we laid on and he or I would from time to time roll over and pleasure the other.
Sexy Attitude – Sex Drive
His is still really high as I mentioned in the earlier post and mine is much higher than it was before. I am thinking about sex much, much more. We are in our late 40’s and we are having intercourse at least 3 times a week, and usually pleasuring each other a couple more times during the week.
Sexy Attitude – Spiritual Life
We are members of a conservative church. Before, we would pray at dinner, and would go to church and class on Sunday’s, but we were almost always late and we never studied the Bible during the week. Now, we take time to study, discuss and read together, and we are on time most of the time for church. We are closer to God, and each other.
Don’t get frustrated with failures as you develop a more sexy attitude. This will all take time, but it is what is in your brain where it all begins. I do not mean to come off any better than anyone else. I just want to be an encouragement.
I really hope this helps. I have been so thrilled with this past year. It is amazing how much our lives have changed with a sexy attitude. I’m not sure how much my husband realizes that he too is fulfilling my needs. We have become so close emotionally and spiritually, he has become the spiritual leader in our house.
Sexy Attitude Ideas See this Hitched Article