Lasting Longer During Sex

Multiple Orgasms and Lasting Longer During Sex?

In a recent post by Blondie discussing how to have multiple orgasms, there was a question raised and I  Kissing neckwould like to present it here for discussion.

Now let me say I LOVE this site and it has been a lot of fun reading the stories and it’s been a great encouragement to me and my wife and our sex life has grown since finding this site.  So I’m not intending this as a criticism at all!  I’m simply wanting to learn from those more experienced.

But there was a comment that raised a concern that I have had too.  It does seem like in most stories on here the women have orgasms through intercourse.  And very often it seems to be multiple orgasms.  I’ve seen stories where the wife had two or three orgasms through one session of intercourse.

At the same time, it seems the men here are able to last a long time before cumming.  So they are able to thrust for a long time before having to stop.

So here’s the question for you ladies: Are you just naturally multi-orgasmic or did you have to learn how to be that way?  If so, what did you do in order to learn to be that way?  Is it something you do or something your husband does?  Is it because your husband can last longer during intercourse so he’s able to bring you to a second or third orgasm in the same session?

For the men: Have you naturally been able to maintain an erection and continue thrusting for a long time naturally?  Or did you have to learn how to “hold back” on your ejaculation so that you could last longer?

For us, my wife says her clitoris is too sensitive after one orgasm so we have to wait a while before trying for a second.  And she isn’t able to orgasm without my hand, her hand, or a vibrator on her clitoris. So intercourse alone doesn’t do it, regardless of the position (and we’ve tried them all.) And for me, I usually cum after just 2-3 minutes of thrusting.  So we haven’t experienced that and I was wondering: is that just a “some people can and some can’t” situation?  Or is there something we can do in order to learn to be that way?  (For both of us.)

And is it the case that if I could last longer then she would be able to have multiple orgasms or orgasms through intercourse?  Or does that not matter?  Again is it a “some women can and some can’t” situation?

Any help or suggestions would be welcome.  Thanks!

Click on a heart to thank the author of this story!

Average rating / 5. Vote count:

No votes so far! Be the first to rate this post.

We are sorry that this post was not one of your favorites!

Help us understand why.

22 replies
  1. Madeleine 27 says:

    Some people can and others can’t. Some women need to be more stimulated than others to have more than one orgasm. I can achieve a second orgasm but only if concentrated

  2. loveithot says:

    Looking forward to what others have to say HH but a couple of quick things that come to mind….

    A few things I do to help last a little longer have been to deliberately relax my fingers and toes and think about (try to think about) something unrelated to the sex happening right there and then or close my eyes because the visual adds a lot of stimulation. Also, I’ll occasionally use a cock ring or a condom or both which normally helps. Lastly, spacing out a lovemaking session so that you ejaculate say at 8pm and then going again at 9pm will normally help 9pm last longer.

    The only other thing I would say from my experience is that sometimes I don’t last long and other times I do and it’s hard to put it down to one thing but interestingly my wife seems to enjoy me cumming quickly sometimes because it’s like a compliment to her….There are other times where I’ve fucked her in all kinds of positions for over 30 minutes and had to work really hard to cum myself and despite her enjoyment of the long lasting intercourse she can sometimes start to get a little self-conscious and wonder why it’s ‘taking so long’. I hope our wives do take a quickly cumming husband as a compliment to their sexiness and of course it’s then up to us husbands to ensure they still experience all kinds of sexual pleasure in other ways.

    Regarding multiple orgasms I don’t have much to add except that June does experience the same sensitivity to her clitoris after the first climax….giving her oral or allowing her to give herself the second dose of pleasure seems to work sometimes. Generally we’re in a habit of ‘both cumming once’ and then most of the time we’re ‘done’. Sometimes the biggest challenge for June is allowing herself to relax when the ‘peeing’ feeling is building just before an orgasm from my cock inside her….for us it doesn’t happen all the time but it’s great when it does as it seems to be a ‘deeper’ orgasm.

    Blessings to you and your wife!

  3. Michael & Lisa says:

    Well Both Madeleine and loveithot both have good points.

    We both feel it is something of a learned response. BTW Lisa did comment on Blondies post.

    But first, many of these stories ARE stories. So they all might not be 100% thruthfull.

    Lisa and I both LOVE foreplay. Holding back/not cumming has taken some time for us to learn. Being physically fit, Using condoms and cockrings helps as well.

    Lisa doing kegal exercises has helped her and us when we have sexual intercourse. Over time, she’s learned to have muliple orgasms not just thru intercourse.

    I’ve learned to hold back.. sometimes it’s not so easy, yes and personnaly I sometimes can recover (not bragging) in approx about 1/2 hour for another round.

    Hope this has helped.

  4. Nutmeg says:

    Achieving multiple orgasms for me has definitely been learned. At first I couldn’t have an orgasm at all. Working through many many conversations with my husband and learning to be free to relax my body and not feel pressured to have an orgasm, my body has since opened me up to a whole new world! My first orgasm always has to be from stimulating my clitoris. My husband can’t just stick it in and expect me to cum. But after I have been stimulated and cum initially then when he penetrates me with either his fingers or cock and hits my g-spot I can usually (but not always) cum again. I usually stop there but if its a particularly long night I can have another by directly stimulating my clit again since it has had adequate time to not be so sensitive.

    My husband can usually last longer by changing positions every time he feels close to cumming. One time we tried like 30 positions in one session and he lasted forever! (But it was quite exhausting!) Also when he fingers my pussy just right he gets me so wet that it helps him last longer since its like a slip and slide! 😉

    Honestly the key for us has been thorough communication.

  5. curiositykilledthecat says:

    Most women cant climax with direct insertion unless their clitoris is stimulated as well. Its natural for that to happen so dont freak out. If you want to learn how to last longer you can try a sort of kegal exercise. When you go to go pee, pee for about five seconds and completely stop for about ten seconds until you dont have any more pee in you. Its hard, so if you trickle just lesses the amount of seconds you hold until you are comfortable challenging yourself. Communication is key in any relationship so just ask your partner what isbest for them. Some people need to have their eyes closed, fast pase, slow, you name it. Everyone is different and that is ok. For a woman, it takes a lot of concentration in order to climax and relaxation. If you are not relaxed, the harder it is to climax. If you are focusing on the heat of the moment and all of the sensations you are experiencing without any sort of guilt or other thoughts, then things should go down smoothly. Just experiment and see what is right for you and your partner to achieve that grand finale. Masterbation helps a tons too. If yiu yourself experiments on what feels right then you have a better chance at explaining it with your partner. I hope this helps:) i read a lot so im not sugar coating anything for ya!

  6. Drew&Holly says:

    Great comments!

    I am one of those women who are able to have multiple orgasms, but I do need different methods to help me get there. When we were first married, it had been so long for me, that I came after just a few thrusts the first few times we made love.

    As for Drew, I think how long he lasted was fine, but he wanted to be able to go longer. So we practice. I get his engine revving, get him good and hard and close to cumming, and then stop. We let him cool off a bit, but not entirely, and then we get him to the brink again. We do that until he can’t take it anymore (I’ll admit – it’s fun!).

    But like loveithot said, sometimes it’s just fine that he doesn’t last so long. I love knowing that I can get him so hot & bothered that once he’s finally inside me, he cums quickly. That’s great! And we have found that changing positions helps him last longer, too.

    I completely agree with Nutmeg about communication being key. We should be able to talk about this with our spouses. My mom was a nurse that did public health education, and she was very open about teaching me & my siblings about sex. The most important things she taught us were to communicate with our spouses, and to HAVE FUN!

    ~Holly

  7. Ana Diva says:

    This is great that you brought it to discussion- and in a very honest way.
    I can only speak for myself, that the duration and intensity of my orgasms have always been connected to the foreplay and the anticipation of being touched, revealed, wooed.
    It’s an absolute turn on, for me, to be surprised and somewhat controlled during the lovemaking, that ingites a series of waves of pleasure. And these chain little orgasms will result into a huge explosion- the final and major one.
    And, franlky, after that, I just want to savor the ecstasy, feel my skin ultra soft, the pulse, the heart beat, the glow and the immense peace.
    I wouldn’t measure up our sex achievement to other stories or couples reality.
    Best to you.
    Anad

  8. loveithot says:

    Just a quick one to say I agree with the tip re changing positions to help last longer. What’s interesting though is that sometimes June was closer than I realised to an orgasm from a certain position but me changing the position prevented her from climaxing (making her ‘last longer’ too) so also can’t agree more with Holly’s comment regarding communication from both husband and wife re what feels good etc and to learn from one another as after 10 years of marriage I have learnt to read some signs but not read her mind yet.

  9. Wanted Always says:

    I am glad to see that others have responded to your questions. I haven’t read them all yet but after 48 hours of prayer I thought I should give you some answers from my own sex life. I been married a pretty long time, so we’ve been playing and enjoying sex a lot. I’d like to know how long you have been married and if you had marriage counseling that included sex as God intended and if you can share this with me I’d like to comment to your questions. Also I have 4 stories posted on this site and I invite you to read them all. See how many times you find that I’m pumping away and she’s cumming time after time. The stories I put on here are not made up and there is very little if any “artistic license” used in any of them. I’m not on every day but I will look for you response here with the comments on your question. Wanted Always

    • HornyHubby says:

      Wanted Always, to answer your questions: Been married 11 years, 10 months (so almost 12 years). We had pre marriage counseling and he talked briefly about it but it was nothing like what we needed. I have read a lot of books as well as most of the stories on this site and learned a lot over the years about what sex in marriage is to look like. But looking back the pre marital counseling we got did nothing. And neither of our parents talked to us about any of this either. So we’ve spent the last 11 years doing a lot of trial and error and just figuring it out as we go along. I look forward to hearing your thoughts on my question.

  10. marriedman0217 says:

    I see from others something that keeps my wife and I going for awhile. One night we made up a game where we would have sex in as many positions as we could think of, but only for five minutes per position. I think that had a lot to do with me going for at least an hour or so with her. Somebody has to be the timekeeper and that is usually me, so that keeps my focus on something else. Usually after 3 or 4 positions I’m able to relax and enjoy the ride. We alternate choosing positions and oral counts as a position too. If five minutes is too long shorten it up, but those five minutes go pretty quick. Have fun.

  11. Wanted Always says:

    HorneyHubby first congratulations on almost 12 years. God is pleased that you and your wife are honoring your marriage commitment. I’m thrilled too!. I’ve noticed that a lot of people posting on MH are married more than 7 years. (The 7 year itch they say is when marriage breaks down most often). When you were born you couldn’t walk, feed yourself, go potty, dress yourself, drive a car and the list goes on. You had a mom who may have had lots of practice doing these things on siblings or as her firstborn or only child she may have been using you for practice. Great sex takes time and REAL HONEST OPEN COMMUNICATION FROM BOTH SPOUSES!. If you or your spouse find it hard to talk about sex and all the factors involved, try lying in bed nude or almost nude with only a candle or 2 for light and it will probably make talking easier. Find out what your wife likes or dislikes. Tell her about you. If you are a typical male you have masturbated several times in life and have a good knowledge of what you like and don’t like and what makes you cum quick or slow. She does not feel what you feel, when or where and many women are changers. What worked this week needs a little tweaking next week. You have to figure out which way the wind is blowing and then turn her sails accordingly. I want to recommend a book to you, it’s titled “Sheet Music” by Dr. Kevin Lehman. Get 2 copies, 1 for you and 1 for your wife. Read them together or separately, if reading them together is to tough read them separately and use a highlighter to mark areas you want to remember in one color and areas you want your wife to know in another. When you are done change books identifying the colors to each other. The read you partners book and pay attention to her markings. If you can, it’s best to read the book together and mark it up together it will get conversation going. Dr. Lehman is a Christian author and psychologist and there is no porn in the book. We give copies of the book with these instructions to every couple we know that’s getting married, whether they are virgins or not. Based on the responses we have gotten it has been money well spent.

    When you and your wife get to bed if you think sex is going to happen or has started be the spiritual leader and pray with you both laying there naked in each others arms, tell God you want to use this gift He gave you as a couple and you want to get full benefit from it and you would appreciate any help He provides. Get a new Bible translation of the Song of Songs and read it together. It is absolutely amazing what God put in there for us to know and use as an example.

    The only sex ed I had from my dad was a sentence: spend lots of time rubbing and playing together, naked or by getting naked, before you have intercourse. That’s all I think he could do, but I admire him for it and thank God he was able to say that to me. He never told me about masturbating instead I found out from a friend and then looked for good books.about sex and started to study so I could hopefully lead my wife if she was expecting me to know it all. Remember I’m married over 30 years and times were different.

    Just a few personal notes: Normally my wife climaxes with my fingers, mouth or penis on the outside. We even use a few vibrators. For her to climax during intercourse takes a desire on my part and work on both our parts. She can climax almost forever I think but I can usually tell when she is satisfied and tells me, “No more for me but come in and fill me.” It’s hard to have spent a lot of time in foreplay giving her orgasm after orgasm and not want to cum immediately upon entering but we both have found that that feeling of being together as one flesh (Literally) for a while before I climax is worth the wait. Sometimes I move a little if I start to get soft and sometimes I’m just hard, hard, hard, and don’t need to move but must stay still to prevent climaxing. Think about it, when you cum inside your wife your sperm can actually swim into her very insides beyond the uterus, fallopian tubes, past the ovaries and into her very being. And it is our flesh (penis) that enters her body. I have often wondered why women feel the need.to allow and actually want a penis in their body. I can’t imagine what that must really feel like to her. But I know I want to give her pleasure and so I will keep on learning by doing and I’d love to do a survey and ask women to tell us men Why they want us to come in.. Entering her really feels good to me and my body is designed to want to have that part rubbed and expel my essence that has been brewing for unknown days. But it wants to put it out and feel that intense orgasm.

    Also working together have her learn to do the stop, start technique on you learning to see and feel the signs that you are going to cum and stopping you and then bringing you up again. Make it fun not work. Let her tie you up if you must. If you must demonstrate this technique to her, if you can control yourself that well.

    As children we learn by playing, as adults we learn about sex by playing with the wonderful Gift God gives us in each other. As teenagers we begin to learn about bodies and sex hopefully just our own. Ending up with mega questions usually.

    I have another place I want you to visit and read from (it’s on the net) but I forgot to get the web address and the sub-section. It’s a great teaching tool about sacred sex.

    Play with each other, learn about each other, the Bible gives commands to married couples that our bodies are not our own but our spouses and we have an obligation to give and enjoy sex (without demanding things that offend our spouse) regularly… With a break only for prayer. Check that out this is Gods Word, our guide book for hear on earth and instructions on how to reach heaven and honor God and his son Jesus while we are here.. This section of the Bible goes for wives as well as husbands. God’s word is good for the mind soul and Body (notice I capitalized Body since we are talking about sex here.

    I will get back in a day or 2 with the other info. for the web site.

    Wanted Always .

  12. Wanted Always says:

    P.S. I’m sure you read the other replies and I believe they have benefits so print them out, study them, highlight and communicate with your spouse about them. Notice I use that word a lot communicate. Communication is not only verbal but can also be physical, please remember that.

  13. Wanted Always says:

    Here's the site I promised above: go to boysunderattack.com and go to the topic on virginity, click it and a drop down will say beyond boinking, click on that and read that entire section, I believe it has some info. that you will find helpful.
    Boys under attack is a Christian website about male adolescence that I wish was around when I was going thru puberty.

    I hope all this is helpful and I and my wife will be praying for you as we have been since I first read your request for info. \ GOD BLESS YOUR MARRIAGE!

    P.S. Please forgive my poor grammar. I typed all this quickly and sometimes my fingers and my mind operate on different wavelengths. If something doesn't make sense ask and I will try to explain it better.

  14. Blondie says:

    Whether it be a girl on top or guy on top positions it makes me super orgasmic if his pubic bone rubs against my clit during sex. It also helps me reach orgasm faster if he’s giving oral to my breasts. I’ve reached orgasm is less than thirty seconds before with stuff like this.

  15. Alex Thompson says:

    I’ve asked similar questions. Since both my husband and I are people who understand things in a more scientific way, I read a book that was a study on the female orgasm. From what I read, it really depends on how far the clitoris is from her vagina on whether she can orgasm without direct clitoral stimulation. I think it said within 3 cm but I honestly can’t remember exact numbers. So, in short, yes, it is a some people can and some people can’t situation.

  16. Lydia Rose says:

    I’ve read that women should be able to achieve g-spot orgasms because they all have the structures necessary, but I know that for some women it is much harder than others.

    I’ve always had a high drive, but sex has been an exercise in both titillation and frustration for me. I can only cum through direct clitoral stimulation, but I’ve always had this nagging feeling that I was capable of much more. I love clitoral orgasms, but again, always felt like I wasn’t reaching my full sexual potential.

    I’ve been excited because my husband and I are planning a weekend away involving lots of sex and him finally being willing to learn with me how to get that elusive, mind-blowing orgasm I’ve yearned for so long. Except tonight, I’ve been hit with a devastating case of body-image issues to the point that all my anticipation is going down the toilet and it’s ruining my mojo completely. It may seem overly dramatic, but body image is HUGE as I have gained fifty pounds over almost thirteen years of marriage and I hate (absolutely despise) every last jiggly, disgusting bit. I was doing so well and now that I am less than a week out, bam. I’m afraid it will ruin our plans if I don’t get it under control. Sounds stupid, but I can’t help but think Satan has a hand in this, trying to ruin the special time we planned together. But I digress.
    Back to the topic at hand – I have a lot of learning to do, but I really believe I am capable of this. Until recently, I’ve just accepted the idea that I’m just one of the unlucky women who “can’t” but after research and reflection I’ve come to the conclusion that it may take a bit of work for me to learn but I have the physical capacity to do this. I’m blessed to have a husband who calls me beautiful even when I don’t feel it, and who is finally willing to try to meet my deeper sexual longings.

  17. gypsychick says:

    Great book by Dr. Lehman Sheet Music was recommended. One warning: read it when you have time and energy to go all the way. My husband and I couldn’t read more than a few pages without ‘practicing’!

  18. JOHN M says:

    The first 20 years I had to have an orgasm before we went to bed or I would not last long. It gets longer as you age, but there are times when you cum in seconds and thats ok. Just relax and enjoy it! God has blessed us a special experience that we should simply enjoy!

  19. OnFire says:

    When most men hear the term “orgasm” they equate that with the feeling you have when you ejaculate (the physical expulsion of the semen from the penis) not the feeling you get when you bring yourself to the edge but do not cum. Multiple ejaculations in this context refer to having more than one ejaculation in a single lovemaking session.
    For most men, there are several hormonal obstacles that need to be overcome. There are those who can do it naturally but some need assistance. The first is the “refractory period” or downtime, literally. Some men have no downtime. For others, it can be minutes or hours before an erection happens again. Prolactin is released by the brain which kills the erection. There have been studies where blood has been drawn from men, generally young, who can ejaculate multiple times. Samples were taken right after cumming and the prolactin levels measured. They were low or nonexistent. Can you reduce your prolactin naturally? To get more information just search “B6 p5p and prolactin”. What about a prescription? To get more information, search “cabergoline and prolactin”. I am not a doctor, so please consult your physician before embarking on this journey.
    For an erection to happen, there must be blood flowing to the penis and held there for you to maintain your erection. This is where things get interesting. There are multiple hormones and enzymes doing battle with each other. You have NO (nitric oxide) which opens up the blood flow and PDE which shuts off the stimulating effects of NO. Other players are dopamine and oxytocin (good) and serotonin and adrenalin (bad) when it comes to erections. There are also emotional and psychological issues. If you want to know much more about enhancing the “good” and blocking the “bad” and a whole lot more, I have just the read for you: “The Penis Book” by Aaron Spitz MD. You can get it on Amazon.
    If you want to have heat, you have to have “wood” to burn. We are wonderfully and mysteriously made.

    There is a married couple on Twitter (or search for their website on Bing,) "Yummy Couple", and he has this ability to the max. If viewing an ejaculation is offensive, then this is not for you. They do not degrade each other, but is done in a fun and loving way.

    [MH has not endorsed any audiovisual erotica because we have never found any site that offered only marital partners having sex, however we did investigate this recommendation and concur that the couple presents themselves as a man and wife enjoying a fun sexual relationship between just the two of them. Of course, if you believe it is wrong to watch other people have sex under any circumstances, you should avoid the recommended website. Please be advised it appears to be a paid site.]

Leave a Reply

Want to join the discussion?
Feel free to contribute!

Leave a Reply