Cumming Home – Rules for Being Apart
Because of my work I travel on a regular basis. Kat and I have often wondered how other couples handle being apart from each other. After being married for 20 years we have gone through many times being apart. Sometimes it is just for days and other times it has been up to 3 weeks. Here is our typical routine when we are away from each other.
1. Sex Before You Hit the Door. This is the obligatory we aren’t going to see each other for a while so we better have sex. I know both of us enjoy these sex sessions, but they are often pretty normal and routine. I’ve often thought, what if this really was the last time we ever had sex together (God forbid something should happen), is this as good as we can do. Again, it’s not bad sex, it’s just not “this is the last time we might fuck” sex!
2. The 48 Hour Rule. After 20 years of marriage we have learned that we both need some kind of regular sexual interaction. We call it the 48 hour rule. We can’t go 48 hours without some kind of sexual interaction with each other, even if we are away. So when we are away from each other we have to get creative in how this works. Technology has certainly helped this over the years. We have used phone sex, sexting, writing sexual fantasies about each other and emailing them, and now sharing live images of each other over facetime. When we are apart we really try hard to follow this rule. Sometimes it can get interesting when Kat is out with friends and I have some time alone in my hotel room. The sexting and pictures we send can get pretty graphic. One of Kat’s friends knows what is going on. She just laughs and says, “getting your 48 hour fix?”
3. Give Yourself a Hand. The topic and idea of masturbation hasn’t always been an easy thing in our relationship. Because of my upbringing I always felt masturbation was wrong. I’ll share my current thoughts and journey to those thoughts sometime later. However, today masturbation is huge part of our relationship. Kat tells me every time she masturbates and I do the same for her. When we are apart, pleasuring ourselves is the norm. Sometimes we have even had contests to see who can cum the most when we are apart. We have masturbated over facetime for each other before.
4. Welcome Home sex. I think because we help build the sexual tension and anticipation for each other why we are apart, the welcome home fuck is one of our favorites. Once we get back together we take a few minutes for the normal hellos and welcome home from the kids, but probably with in about 10 minutes of our reunion we are naked and in the bed together. Our welcome home fuck usually follows this routine, fast, hard, cum as quick as you can sex, followed by some type of extended oral action on each other. Then we take our time and enjoy each other for quite a while.
That is our basic routine. How do you handle staying connected sexually when you are apart? We would love to hear your thoughts.
Thank you for posting this! Such great advice! I was especially encouraged when you mentioned masturbation and how much it helps when you two are apart. I also grew up being told masturbation was wrong and have only recently, by God’s grace, been able to see the beauty of it. Thank you both for sharing your wisdom! It’s much appreciated by this horny wife!!!
We have some similar patterns – though we’ve never labeled them as rules. My job has taken me
away for a week or so many times during our marriage. Even if we are only going to be apart for
a night or two – we always have sex the night before I (and sometimes my wife) leave. Our pattern
is usually to have sex every other night. We will be married 30 years this month – and this has been
our pattern for many years. Though we certainly did not have this consistency in the first half of your
marriage that we have now. We have definitely gotten more horny as the years have gone by. What a
wonderful gift from God. We both give the other the freedom to masturbate whenever we want – as long
as we are sensitive to being ready for each other as the priority. There have been very rare occasions
where it seemed like we weren’t having sex and one of us had just masturbated before the other came
to bed horny. Again, that has almost never happened. I’ve told my wife at times that if she is going to
work late on something – that I’m going in the room to masturbate. Her reaction is either – “wait for me”
or “have fun.” Finally, our welcome home fucking has been memorable, too! I don’t want to sound like
it was as hard as our military couples (of course not!) – but we were apart once for 5 weeks many years
ago. We ached for each other. No internet or cell phones. It was so hard. When we reunited – it was a
cum-athon of epic proportions. Thank you for this Daniel. I’m so glad for your contribution on MH! God
bless you two. LH
I love this list! My husband also has to do travel for work sometimes. And it always seemed so weird when he’d come home again after being gone. But while he was gone on one of his business trips last year, I discovered marriage heat. :O) And then we were sending dirty texts back and forth to each other all day long. Haha! It was so fun. Like you, we also had a little contest one time to see who could reach orgasm the most alone (I won!). So, yeah, I’m a big fan of this idea of staying connected through technology and stuff while being apart. I love the 48 hour rule. I’m going to remember that one.
Eva, we used to have those same issues after we were apart. The 48 hour rule really helped to change that. It keeps us connected emotionally and somewhat physically so it is not like we have to turn a switch on or off when we leave or get home. Glad to hear you and your hubby have worked through this as well.
Like you said technology has really helped here! Sexting is our number one way! We both enjoy it and I feel like I find out more about what she fantasizes about because she will share more through texting than speaking on phone or face to face. We also plan special nights for each other while apart for when we’re together. It’s fun and exciting! She likes treasure hunts, relaxing hotel stays and side by side time. I like outdoors stuff, role playing and new adventure. I work 4 weeks away and then home 4 weeks so we have homecoming sex every other month and get a month to plan out special dates for the upcoming month off! Any ideas for us from the MH family would be great!
Great list. We’ve been only married to each other a couple of years (2nd marriage for us both, for those who aren’t familiar with our story) but we, too, have developed similar “rules.” I have been thinking about writing up a recent experience we had when Drew returned from a business trip; maybe I’ll do just that after Morgan’s wedding (10 days from now!). But, like Daniel and Kat, we make love before we have to be apart, stay as connected as possible during the absence, and then enjoy reconnecting once we are together again. We do also masturbate, sometimes alone, sometimes together while using technology, but always thinking of the other.
God bless!
Holly
My Sweetie has worked oversea for the last two & half years. We take turns flying to see each other every three months for a couple weeks. Another 2-1/2 and she will retire if we feel we can keep it up. We talk about every other day and I send her the first draft of my MH stories for approval. I prefer going to visit her over her coming home because then I don’t have to share her with everybody else here. We encourage each other to keep each other’s equipment in working order, but sex-ting is problematic due to her location. I emailed a picture of “my junk” one time. It was a picture of my trash can at work. I guess humor has been one of the things that has served us well the last 40 years
Yes i loved this story too and that list…. Whoa! Almost passed out with those HOT Suggestions & the weather. 90’s today.
Lisa
Thanks for this list bro, I am now working as a Smoke Jumper/ Smoke jumper pilot, (brother-in-law talked me into joining him) so I am gone for a week or so at a time or some times more. Being a job that has some risk to it we always have a last night love session and when I can get cell service we do send so fun pics. I would say “the welcome home fuck” as you call it is always wonderful, I am either so stinky or dirty that Cameron will throw me in the shower and jump me there or just over look the dirt and jump me as soon as we are alone.
Thanks again for this post.
it’s great reading other couple’s experiences in dealing with keeping connected when apart. We both agree, and “enjoyed” applying your suggestions while we were apart the past couple of weeks!
I am working on an MH story about this topic right now. It's been two years for us with me getting home about every two weeks.
Cliona has a strong aversion to sexting but we occasionally send subtly worded texts and emails. Self-help between reunion sex is the biggest mainstay for each of us. My story is about something that happened two weeks ago. We traded emails about the precise time I would be home and Cliona was waiting for me in bed with her fingers between her legs screaming with pleasure. There is more to the story so wait for the details. I'll have it submitted in a few days although the publication times here seem slow. It is entitled "Waiting for You."