This is my first post at Marriage Heat. A marriage heat member recommended that I check it out. This member is a pastor’s wife. I am curious about what her screen name is, lol. Better I do not know! She was presenting material from the Kevin Leman book, Sheet Music. She noticed that I had a sort of passive aggressive attitude about marriage sex. My body language gave it away as I would cross my arms while she was presenting the materials. I was not happy our women’s study had ventured into these waters.
The pastor’s wife asked this question. Are you both content with your marriage sexual relationship?
I knew my husband was horny a lot and would likely answer, “no.”
I, on the other hand, was shaking my head, “yes.” She could see my defensive intensity.
Hey, I kept him “satisfied” once a week. I was content. We just passed our 14th year of marriage. I am 34. We had our two children right away. They are in middle school. Life was normal and expected. He is a great man. Great provider. Yeah, he is not perfect. Sometimes he watches porn, but I know he feels bad about it and tries to keep that a rare occurance. He loves me and our children. He loves God!
Near the end of the study, our pastor’s wife asked each of us to think about our own sexuality and our marriage sexuality. She recommended that we check out Marriage Heat. She gave us a survey highlighting a few things, like the MH stand on Masturbation. She also gave us a few other websites to check out. She said some of us may find the sites encouraging. Some may come back wondering how she could have even recommended the site for viewing.
My first reaction was JUDGEMENT! I said to myself, “Our pastor’s wife is going worldly.” I read about 6 or 7 stories. I clicked out of MH and started dinner. I was annoyed and horny for my husband at the same time.
After the kids were in bed, I felt hot for hubby. We make love on Saturday or Sunday. This was Wednesday. He was already into his night routine. He took his shower. He climbed into bed. I was already there naked. The cave woman in me was alive. I actually grabbed his manhood. He was in a state of shock. This was Wednesday. I started talking a little sexy talk to him while I sat up and fondled his dick.
Then I lowered my mouth to his dick. I had rarely done this in our marriage. He was fixated into a state of erotic shock. He was even giggling like a teenage boy, lol. I felt like Mrs Robinson. I consumed his dick in my mouth, and I gently cupped his balls in my hand.
My own pussy was wet, so wet. My husband’s volcano was ready to explode. I was ready to take the lava in my mouth. I felt the cum shoot in my mouth and I was so turned on. I swallowed his cum. Something I never did before. After his tremmers settled, I wanted and needed a tsunami to wash over me.
I lay down on my stomach. He came to my pussy from the back door. My clit fell between into his masterful fingers. My pussy’s sap and my husband’s fingers created the earth quake in me. Wow. Pause. Then another one. My husband made the earth move.
We talked some. Kissed some. His cum taste in my mouth. He fell asleep in my arms. I gently pushed him to his side of the bed. I was sleepy, but I did not want to go to sleep. I wanted my contentment to inspire me to make some changes. I put my hands on the top of my head and started praying. I moved my hands slowly down my face, my neck, my breasts. I paused at my nipples, caressing, feeling the connection between my nipples and my pussy. I continued to pray, while my hands found their way to my pussy. I heard my husband snore. I heard my soul cry out to God. I want to be everything for you God. You made me to be a woman. You made me to be an erotic soul mate for my dear man. Lord, help me be that woman.
My eyes started to tear up. It was as if the Holy Spirit was lifting shame from me. It was as if the Lord was speaking directly to my heart, mind and soul. The spirit was saying, “Let yourself go into the joy of your womanhood. Let go of the messages about sex that have held you back. Touch yourself. You are not perverted. Touch your pregnancy scars. They are beautiful. You are an image bearer! You are touching something that resembles God. God made you to be free in your marriage.”
I dozed off into a peaceful sleep.
The alarm rang. Husband off. Kids off to school.
What happened to me last night? It was like I had an affair. I cheated on Mrs. Normal. She caught me in bed having sex on Wednesday night. She accused me of liking it way too much. She pointed out that I actually swallowed. Something I had never done. Mrs Normal argued:
“You know, hubby is now going to expect more.”
“Your slut-like performance was over the top. He is going to want you to try all kinds of things now.”
You know your husband is a horny man. You had him well trained for his normal weekend romp. Now you have him dreaming that you will ditch your panties and pull up your skirt and let your screw you outside the bedroom not on the weekend.”
“You know, the pastor’s wife should not have shown you Marriage Heat, you should write an email to her letting her know how offended you are. Tell her that the site is porn. Masturbation is wrong. Who is this Mrs Juicy girl, or this Mrs Gracie? That’s not their real names?”
Mrs Normal was scolding and judging me. I got a text.
“Wow. Baby, what came over you last night?”
“Did you like it?”
“Well, Yeah. Hey, want to go out tonight? I called my mother and asked if she would watch the kids.”
“I’ll be home at five to pick you up. My mom is coming at 4:30.”
Mrs Normal began talking.
“I suppose you are going to go out with him and ditch your panties. You know, he is going to want that. HE IS A HORNY MAN! He is going to be lusting for you when he finds that out. You have never gone out with no panties. What if someone sees that?”
I called my sister to come do my hair. She is a hair dresser and she was off. We laughed and talked. She asked me why I was so happy. She said that if she did not know I was a Christian, she would suspect I was having an affair.
My mother-in-law came at 4:30. She brought dinner with her. My husband has a great mother.
Hubby came home fifteen minutes later. He showered and we left at 5:15. As we were exiting the hallway, I pulled up my dress to show my husband my bare ass.
Mrs Normal was very disappointed. I was enjoying my new affair.
Author Note: The night was amazing. MH has been changing our marriage. Mrs Normal still shows up. But I am being freed by God. Shame is being lifted.