My Greatest Wish (Including my life Journey)

Hello! This is not a story, nor is this really an open letter to my future wife. It is more what I REALLY want in a married relationship with my significant other that is somewhere out there. This is my first post here, so for the sake of context, I probably should first talk about my background. (If you’re not interested in my past, I’ll have the following part be clearly stood out from the entire post). I hope that you can give me the benefit of the doubt when you come across something that I wrote in this post that might be considered awkward (or even a little creepy). Since I am a little on the autism spectrum, written and oral communication is definitely not my strength. But remembering what other people said in their posts (not judging at all, fam!), I’m sure that I didn’t write anything questionable.

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          I was born in 1998 and was raised in a home where (even in my teen years) anything that pertained to kissing, sex, or anything that looked suspicious in general was greatly shunned by my mother. In a way, she planted this idea in my head that sex, in of itself, is dirty and shameful (at least that’s how I took it). Don’t get me wrong; I’m glad that my mom was very protective of what I experienced in my younger years, but I am a little disappointed that neither of my parents truly educated me on the topic of marital sex in my teen years. Maybe my mom had a horrible experience with the topic of sex when she was young, but that’s not important. What I can safely declare is that our household was based on the VERY conservative side of Christianity (we are Seventh-Day Adventists). Yes, my dad gave me the “sex talk” when I was about 13, but it was as deep and detailed as would a mathematics course be in kindergarten. He did tell me that sex was “fun” and is a “wonderful way to connect with your wife,” but he just left it like that and abruptly ended the conversation. Naturally, I was in disgusted shock, disbelief, and even confusion. “How could a husband shoving something up his wife’s entry to her birth canal be a ‘fun’ thing to do?” I thought to myself after hearing this. Ever since then, my parents never talked to me about sex.

It was only 4 or 5 months ago that I discovered this website when I was Googling “real Christian married couple sex stories” just because I was curious of how passionate and/or healthy that other Christian people’s love lives are. And boy, did I hit the jackpot! (Seriously, that was the time when Google really cooperated with me and gave me the most useful search results ever!) I was again in shock after reading some posts, but it was not a shock in disgust or shame like I was 6 years ago. There was something about this site and the people that are involved in it that shed a whole new light on sex in its purest form. The Christian couples here weren’t talking about sex like it was dirty or that they were ashamed that they have sex every day and night. They were proud to share their journeys to the world. It greatly inspired me; it made me look at sex in a totally different way. After some deep thought, soul-searching, and remembering what I read from the Bible, I had a revelation.

I realized that sex is not dirty; it is beautiful in God’s eyes! He invented it and gave it to humankind as a gift so that we can praise Him and thank Him for giving us the ability to connect with our life partner in a way that we can’t with anyone else. I mean, if you think about it, sex can definitely be another way to worship God, especially if you thank Him for giving you a spouse to give pleasure and happiness to. It is, apart from loving one another emotionally and spiritually, the best gift that a married couple can give to and receive from each other for the rest of eternity (I’ll probably talk more about that statement in another post). I started to have a much different attitude towards sexual intimacy, and I was even more curious about it. A few hours of research later I learned (in the scientific/anatomical sense, as well as the spiritual sense) why it was so much fun and pleasurable for a married couple to make love to each other.

I guess what you can get out of this account of my life journey is that I almost grew up as a man who was a total doofus when it came to sex in general. I almost was the man who was ashamed of thinking about it or even hearing about it. But I didn’t. God enlightened me with this wonderful knowledge and I can’t thank Him enough for it! Even though I figured it out myself, I am also thankful for how much that my mom cared for my future by protecting me from many things. It could very well be because of her that the thought of a love affair, or any kind of sexual relationship that is not how God intended, is not a turn-on for me. Reading about situations like that just don’t interest me.

So that’s my life journey! I hope that it wasn’t too boring for whoever read it.

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     So these are the things that I REALLY want in my marriage and for my future wife:

Obviously, I want a wife who is patient, selfless, caring and is always willing to help me strengthen our bond and love for each other. I want my wife and I to have the most passionate, erotic, and intimate relationship humanly possible. I want us to both look forward to each other’s touch nearly every day. I want us to both be literally addicted to each other’s bodies and want the love, passion, and even the frequency, to never, EVER, diminish in our lives. I will vow to my future wife that even though my autistic tendencies, especially depression, might make things a little difficult, I will make absolutely sure that I will never let my depression get in the way of our love life. No matter how much that I am not “in the mood” in a particular moment, I will always be available to her. All that she has to do is ask. I want a wife that is what judgmental people would consider to be a “nympho.” I’m sure that there are many Christian bachelorettes that think that they have an abnormally high sex drive. I really want to marry one and be able to convince her that I will never “slut-shame” her; I will never say “no”, EVER! no matter how much that my depression is making my body say “no”. I know that I will always be glad that I said “yes” afterward. I want her to never be ashamed of her high sex drive, but to know that that is one of the things that I love so much about her! I want to be able to satisfy her, complete her, to be the man that she subconsciously longed for. I want a wife who is not ashamed of sex (like I was before I found this site), nor shy about talking to me about it. I want us to be able to talk about our sex life just as easily as talking about what we’re going to make for dinner. During those talks, I want us to be able to plan for some intimate time so that we can both expect it and look forward to it, such as a weekly “date night” every Saturday and me taking a particular weekday afternoon off of work every week and reserve it as no-matter-what-just-us time, a full-on romantic dinner at home, and top it off with caressing, cuddling, and straight-on loving on each other to both our heart’s content. I want our relationship to be so volcanically hot that if any other unmarried couple who don’t have God in their hearts were to see it, they would look at us with envy.

So in a nutshell, I want to have the hottest, most erotic, intimate, and connected marriage as humanly possible, and I’m quite confident that it can be done! I earnestly pray every day that God will give me the woman that I need in my life and that I will be the best man for her. I absolutely cannot wait to find that special someone and to spend the rest of my life with her both on Earth and for the rest of eternity in the Kingdom of Heaven and the new earth.

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6 replies
  1. Harper Shelby Thornton
    Harper Shelby Thornton says:

    First off, I'm so glad you came out of that false teaching! And yes, MH is the jackpot for sharing stories experience, and advice, things like that. I'm so happy you finally see sex for what it truly is, son. Praise the Lord indeed! May God bless you, young man! Don't give up!

  2. ArtRutherford
    ArtRutherford says:

    You go. ShamelessBachelor. God DID invent sex to be wonderful in the context of marriage. I'll be praying for you and your future wife that she will enjoy sex in marriage as much as you fantasize about. I know she will. (By the way, I too, border on the autism spectrum.) 🙂

  3. PatientPassion
    PatientPassion says:

    As a guy only a year older, I can say I'm right there with you, brother! I desire many of the same things in a marriage relationship: intimacy, total openness and of course, bonding through white-hot sex, and I eagerly await the day when God grants me those wishes!

    One of the things that has helped me be patient is to constantly be in prayer about it. Nearly every night for over 2 years, I've prayed variations of this simple prayer: "God, If it's Your will to give me a wife in the future, please guide me to the right one." Occasionally I pray quite passionately, because I know how often this kind of relationship can be messed up or become sinful. I want God's perfect design to be fulfilled and not settle for the world's idea of what's "normal."

    It's helped me immensely to keep in mind that God's plan is perfect and flawless, and even when it seems impossible for things to work out (as I have felt many times), God will always make a way for his plan to be fulfilled.

    My advice, from brother to brother in Christ, is to pray openly and honestly about your desires. Tell God what you truly want, but at the same time submit your will to His. Continually ask for guidance, and push yourself to become the best, God-fearing husband you can be, even before entering a relationship. I don't follow these perfectly myself, but I know they are crucial to being strong Christian men.

    Psalm 37:4: "Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart."

  4. ShamelessBachelor
    ShamelessBachelor says:

    Replying to PatientPassion:
    I’m so glad that I’m not the only one who feels like this! And I could not agree more about your advice. I only want the best and godliest of intentions in my heart and to be the best husband as feasible. Thank you (this includes the rest) for your uplifting support!

  5. CMLove
    CMLove says:

    Beautiful post, brother. May God bless you with your heart's desire as you follow Him through this adventure we call life!

  6. Elizabeth8991
    Elizabeth8991 says:

    Hi,

    I'm also a 1998 baby, and my journey has been somewhat similar. Over the last several years however, I have been turning more and more to God, and trusting in Him that He will guide me where I need to go. Marriage Heat has helped me to strengthen that trust, knowing that if it is in His plan, God will not deprive me of such a worldly relationship and marriage. If it is not in His plan – well, I'm in the process of accepting that. The last two years in particular I have battled depression, so that it is a common thing to feel as though I am not meant for this world or for such delights as God may have in store.

    Anyway, thank you for your post – I am a long-time lurker and a first-time commenter on this site; I felt I had to speak up in agreement with you, for you have described such a wife as I would like to be. In the future, I would like a husband who is willing to love and serve the Lord alongside me, to love me well, and to be someone I respect and trust fully.

    God bless!

    – Elizabeth

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