Self Confidence
I have a question about confidence. I am overweight and I have trouble with self confidence. I would love to dance for my husband, but I don’t like the way my body looks. My husband assures me he finds me sexy so I know this is an issue I have with myself. Does anyone have any advice on how to overcome this problem?
hi my wife is the same way but she will sleep nude every night she will wear short nightgowns with out pantys so maybe try that my is very self confidence I love all that she does and sure hope this helps you
If you're husband says he finds you sexy, then he means it. Don't let your lack of confidence keep you from being his desire. Remember there are very few of us that have the bodies that the media shows us. Men and women are different for sure and men are sight driven. So drive him crazy! 🙂
It breaks my heart for both husband and wife when I read such stories. I think that just about every person suffers from some body-image problem.
This steals so much pleasure out of our marriages. Many women feel un-sexy and therefore deprive their husbands AND themselves from the joys of sex and orgasms.
My wife is the ONLY woman that I may love. The ONLY one that I may make love to. The ONLY one whose body I may desire, kiss, fondle, suck……. If she is small or big or skinny or overweight with big or small boobs blah blah blah blah. SHE IS WHAT GOD HAS PLANNED FOR ME.
My dear "Self Confidence" go and seduce your husband. Do not be a thief. Do not rob him of the gift that God has given him. YOU are that gift. Dance for him. Strip for him. Wait naked for him when he walks in the door. Plan for him to catch you masturbating. Send him sexy messages on his phone. Whisper in his ear what you want to do to him. THINK SEXY. You are his lover. Love him.
I tell you self confidence comes into play for a lot of things, particularly with relationships. Not that i know that cause i ain't in one but its still important and key nonetheless. If you around good genuine people and their nice to you with compliments and positive comments, then your self confidence will go up.
God bless and take care,
Dean.
Why not try belly dancing? I think you actually HAVE to be overweight for that one. Your husband is right, plus-size women can be beauties! So you get that make up on, put on those lovely dresses and dance to your heart's content, dear! 😀 Have fun! You're beautiful! God bless
As women, we get stuck in our heads about body image before sex. We put the crushing pressure on ourselves to look perfect before we can feel sexy. We put ourselves in front of the mirror and on trial before we let ourselves get turned on. This is so convoluted. God didn't create you to be perfect. But He did create you to have great sex.
I think you should take inspiration from a source very close to you who is actively not viewing their body as a stumbling block and focusing just on the sexiness of sex. That person is your husband. Chances are, he is also overweight. But he doesn't examine every inch and bulge and bit of pudge before he decides that your body is the body he wants. That freed vision of sex and desire is something you, and just about every other woman, needs to adopt to feel freer to enjoy and take in bed.
When you climb on your husband, you should be looking at his body and letting it turn you on. Instead of asking yourself, "am I perfect enough?", look at him and ask "does he turn me? does this turn me on?". If it doesn't, find a way to spice it up with him so that it does. That's a whole other train of thought so I'll just focus on this. Stop looking at your body to be aroused and start focusing on his. This takes practice but stick with it. And then when he turns you on, dance, view, tease, f!ck, whatever until you both reach climax. Then you'll have good sex. And funny enough, there's a lot of people out there with "perfect" bodies who won't ever have sex that good.
Bottom Line: Stop putting yourself under the microscope. Focus on your husband and take the sex you want. Consciously reject unattainable perfection. That's what's really un-sexy anyway.
I used to struggle with self confidence immensely.
As a teen and young adult I had serous body image issues. I would constantly compare myself to other guys and found myself always falling short. I was too skinny, too tall, too pale etc…
Eventually i figured out i would never like how i looked because my genetics were out of my controll. Ironically once i accepted that i suddenly realized i was ok. I don't look like 90's Brad Pitt, i never will. And you know what? That's okay. No one looks like that in real life anyway.
Around the same time is i began to grow more self confident i also realized something. I did not find people who were physically attractive as attractive anymore. What i started to notice i more and more, i was now more attracted to self confident people.
When i was younger i was miserable and lonely. I couldn't get outside my shell. My lack of self confidence was like a wall keeping everyone away.
The first step to getting better for me was realizing my looks were beyond my control. (Beyond basic hygiene anyway)
The second step for me was realizing there are some things about myself that i do like. (Very few at first but it grows if you let it) For instance i learned to love the advantages of being tall. (I learned that good posture = positive tall experience) You might start with something about yourself that you find sexy. It might be a small thing but find it and care for it till it grows.
The third thing i did is started facing my fears. (if you shine a light on them they shrink immediately)
I big one for me was being in public in swimming trunks. I am blessed with many moles but not to the point of being hideous. (it was all in my head)
Lastly i made friends with the voices in my head. Aka if a voice was telling me to wait to do x until i had a tan or to put on more muscle ect. So instead of listening i told the voices to either say something helpfull or otherwise shut up! (A self critical inner-voice is just as useless as an abusive friend) (Amazingly most of my former critics are now my friends encouraging me and correcting me but not stomping on me)
As a side note, One cool trick for instant confidence boost is. Find a private place (or not private) and do the superman pose. (Back straight, legs planted firmly, fists on hips, deep breath puffing up the chest and glare at the horizon!) Works every time. A neurologist recommended it in a video somewhere. Said it forces the brain to release endorphins. You basically hack into yourself lol.
Hope this helps.
Ps, god knows whats wrong. Pray and he will show you how to improve yourself.
I took three sentences from SHE WRITES last comment and I think it just about answers it all……
"God didn't create you to be perfect. But He did create you to have great sex.
And funny enough, there's a lot of people out there with "perfect" bodies who won't ever have sex that good.
Bottom Line: Stop putting yourself under the microscope. Focus on your husband and take the sex you want. Consciously reject unattainable perfection. That's what's really un-sexy anyway."
Thank you all so much for your comments! They have inspired me to stop being so critical and BELIEVE my husband. It will take some work, but I will read these comments over an over again!
It took me a long time to believe my hubby too.
Your husband loves you! Go buy the tiniest, skimpiest bikini you can find and model it for him! He will love it! I guarantee it!
My wife feels similarly as you do. It makes me sad as I do believe she is the sexiest woman in my eyes. My advice to you is what I hope for her as well. Trust your husband when he says you are sexy – he means it and you should believe it in your heart. Stay connected and be positive about yourself and enjoy. Best of luck for you both.
The skimpy bikini is a great idea!!
Skimpy bikini huh? I kinda like that idea….