The mask I wear

Hi, everyone. This is my first post. I have been Marriage Heat stories for years. It has really opened my eyes to Christian Sexuality in marriage. My only regret is that I cannot tell anyone about this. I feel so alone. I have always been a man who avoid relationships because of the negative stereotypes you see on TV. I am a male person of color, so I am either  seen a someone fetish or felon. I always felt that been in a Christian marriage meant having a sexless and boring marriage. Part of me thought that I would never find a Christian wife who is sex positive. Personally, part of me has already giving up on that dream. I fell that I can’t share this with my church, my friends, my family, nor my christian community. I tried to share this feelings but is rejected, I feel so alone. I know this place is for married people, but I don’t know where to turn to. I am scared. I don’t know if i need help, prayer, or something. I just want some advice. Please help me.

3.33 avg. rating (68% score) - 6 votes
5 replies
  1. Current Resident
    Current Resident says:

    This site is not just a place for married people. There are many singles, myself included, that read and contribute. And I hope to encourage you that you are not alone! I came here to escape the sex negativity of church tradition as well as the loveless sex portrayed in mainstream culture, so I have also felt the hopelessness that can arise from being stuck in the middle. The good news is that there are actually others—even single christian women—that crave a healthy sexual marriage too! Read some of the comments on hot stories and I think you will agree.

    What helped me, if I may offer some advice, is to start praying for your future wife like you will once you find her. If God has given you an earnest desire to love a women, He will fulfill it. Faith often means acting on something as if it has already happened. So pray for her. Pray that God will strengthen her in her work, family, service, and social life. Pray that God will protect her, and thank God that you will be part of that someday. Pray that she will grow spiritually, and develop her sexuality. Pray that you might learn how to love a woman. And pray that you will develop the confidence and character to be her lifelong mate. You ask for a good thing, God will not give you a stone.

    Finally, know that I will be praying for you and your future wife.

  2. Adam Rose
    Adam Rose says:

    My advice is to find a good church community to plug yourself into. Things like small groups where men can get real on a personal level helps a lot with my own loneliness. It helps to hear godly men who are already married telling me to stick to my godly principles and fucus on becoming more Christ like. Rather than worry too much about wether or not i will ever find myself a bride.
    One thing i always remind myself of is that marriage does not complete you. It multiplies you. That means, everything about you (good and bad) gets increased after marriage. So i fucus on improving myself and my fellowship with my brothers in Christ. God will show me the way when the time comes.

    I prey this helps you.

  3. Matt Maxwell
    Matt Maxwell says:

    We have been married for 24 years and still have a very hot sex life! We both were strong Christians when we met and didn't have sex with each other until our wedding night. We experiment with new places, new toys, and new ideas all the time, all within God's glorious plan for sex!! When we are together in the same place, we probably average having sex six to ten times a week, and when one of us is out of town, we still average four times a week. Be encouraged, sex God's way (in marriage) is so so worth it and can be very hot!!

  4. Marciesman
    Marciesman says:

    My wife and I met later in life. She was a widow and I was divorced. We met on a Christian dating site and wrote for three months before calling. We did that so we could really learn each other's hearts and souls before actually meeting. One of the questions I asked several months is was about her views of sex. My first wife was a total dud, and I did not want that again. So I just asked about how she viewed God's gift of sex? She did she like to do? What were the limits of what she would do? How often did she want to have sex? We wrote very openly about this, and both were relieved that one of us had brought it up. We met seven years ago and are married six, and we are both in our sixties. Our sex life is beautiful, amaing, free and frequent. She is one hot woman! Remember, God gave only one book in the Bible dedicated to marriage, and it is all about emotional and sexual connection – Song of Solomon. In fact, it is so graphic that no one will translate it as the Holy Spirit gave it! We are more reserved than God! God gave sex as a beautful gift to be used lavishly and freely. Christians should be the most sexual of all people. Sometime look up Literaly translation of Song of Solomon, and see for yourself. All this is to say that to find a woman who loves Jesus passionately, and who loves his gift passionately, you first have to pray, and then look. They are out there, looking for good men. I like online because you can talk freely in emails apart from all the dating dynamics, and you can really get to know someone. When we met the following Marce we both knew we were meeting our husband/wife. And we are unbelievabley connected and deeply in love.

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